If you don’t believe in yourself and the ability you have, you’re not alone. They paid me to be a public speaker, and I didn’t like the sound of my voice, so I shied away from speaking. I didn’t believe that I had the ability to write and develop ideas, so I didn’t do that either. Most people that you look at when you walk into your office or down the street or into the grocery store don’t believe in the abilities that they have.
Maybe you were told that you aren’t supposed to believe in yourself. I’ll get into this later, but maybe your religious institution said that you can’t trust your abilities. They told you, you have to rely only on God. I’ll get into this later because that was me. I am a person who spent a lot of my life not believing in the abilities that I had because I was told not to. I want today to be the first step in trying to change that for you.
Stop Saying I Can’t
I can’t is the most limiting thing you can say to yourself. Thinking you can’t do something steals joy from your life. Even saying something like well I tried before and I wasn’t any good at it will rob you of doing something you love. As long as you tell yourself you can’t do something, you won’t do it. You may not even try to do it. If you think you can’t, you’re not going to.
Even if you don’t think you’re going to be good at a subject, just trying something new can open you up to other opportunities. If you’ve always wanted to paint but knew you were no good at it, going to and taking a class will open you up to what is possible. The more classes you take, the better you’re going to become regardless of the talent level.
The next level is, do you want to paint for a living? Let me ask it this way: do you want to do something besides what you’re doing now for a living that’s creative? If you don’t think you can, you will not try. I’m not saying quit your job tomorrow and start doing something creative for a living if you’ve never done it before. What I’m saying is until you believe you can, you’re not going to take the classes you need and learn what you need to learn to start selling your stuff.
Here’s the best advice I’ve ever heard: write what you want to read, paint what you want to see, create what you want to create. Whether you make money at it or not, you’ve done what you love and it will fulfil you.
Stop Focusing On The Past
If you’ve listened to this podcast before, you probably heard me say that I believe our purpose is to use the skills we were created with. Whether your skill is empathy, love, singing, riding, driving, engineering, salesmanship, or whatever else lies inside of you. BUT, For most of us, a parent, a teacher, friends, addiction, or any other number of things that crop up in our life have squashed these things. The problem is all those things happened in the past, which is where many of us like to spend our time. Your past got you to where you are today, but your future depends on you deciding to move forward.
You are special because there’s no one else like you. You’re also part of humanity which needs you to be who you are created to be. One of my favorite authors, Brene Brown, wrote this. “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”
Who wants to own their story when most of our stories are so messed up? Once we can get out of using our past and o hold us back, we can start loving ourselves and moving forward. Today, I know that success for me is about helping other people find what success means to them and building a community. I can only do those things if I love and believe in myself. Which brings me to my next point…
Find People Who Believe In You
Because of what I said earlier, I understand that for some of us finding others who believe in us may seem impossible. But just like everything else, if you believe you can, you will seek out people to bring joy to your life. People who believe in you and encourage you to do the things you want to do. For me, this started over 25 years ago with audio cassettes and CDs. Not having friends and family who were looking for what I was looking for, I would listen to Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn, John Maxwell, Brian Tracy, and Tony Robbins talk about believing in myself and passing it on to others.
This led me to seek like-minded individuals and today I have a group of guys who love me for who I am and encourage me to be my best. Having people around you who believe in you helps you to believe in yourself more. And, I still listen to positive audio books and programs when I’m in the car.
There’s A Bigger Player In The Game
I think when we recognize that there is something bigger than us that has more power than we do we can relax and draw on this higher power as a source of strength. Two things I know, religion has hijacked this source for most of us. And second, I’m not going to tell you, you have to believe in anything specific. Whether you say God, Source, higher power, golden thread, cosmic equation, or any number of names, there is something bigger than us that believes in you. This power is inside you. I believe it’s what puts these abilities inside us. It connects all of us. It’s greater than the powers in the world, or your head telling you, you can’t.
It’s okay to be a spiritual person without a religion. What I want you to recognize is there is something there you can begin to rely on. Something that will help you develop a belief in yourself that you may not currently have. Like most twelve-step programs teach, get to know God as you understand God, not as the specter that was used to control you or try to make you be a good little boy or girl.
You Can Because I Did
This isn’t a cop out because it’s honestly true. If I can go from a little redneck kid growing up in Arkansas to an addiction that stunted my growth as a person to a life coach with a podcast, you can do whatever you want. If you hear nothing else, I want you to know that I believe in you. I know you can, because I did.
I know some of this may have been a lot to process, but the hard things are what make us grow.
Thanks for stopping by.
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