Welcome to the first episode of the recapture your life podcast. I did a brief introduction about what the podcast will be. Now I want to give you a full rundown of where everything comes from. And the basic tenets of my coaching.
Where My Coaching Starts.
The first thing I want you to know is that I’m an Eastern Orthodox Christian. I am part of the Orthodox Church in America or the OCA. That doesn’t mean I believe everyone has to be a Christian like I am. It is the basis for everything I do and say. This podcast isn’t about proselytizing or converting anyone I just want you to know up front where I’m starting from.
Where coaching and where this podcast comes from is that everything starts from our value system. If we don’t know what we value, then we can’t move forward and discover our purpose or set goals. I think that deep down inside of us we all have a set of values we live by. Whether we know them or not, is not important. What is important is we live by them, whether we know them.
When you wake up in the morning and you decide to take a shower and go to work, that’s based on your value that that job is important. But why is that job important to us? Most of us have no idea who we are inside. We just go through life one day at a time saying, “I’m just going to do the best I can” “I’m just going to get through with this,” and we don’t know who we are. That’s the first thing I want to help people understand is, who they are at their core. From that point we can develop purpose and goals and skills. Then you can, like Simon Sinek says, Find Your Why because you know who you are inside.
Where Do You Live From
I think that’s one of the main things most people who teach success or personal growth forget is that they know who they are. They’ve spent years developing who they are. They know what their value system is, but to us normal human beings; we don’t get it. We don’t know who we are because we’ve been told from an early age that you need to get a job, you need to go to school, you’ll find a trade, whatever it is you do and that is where we get our value from. School, job, friends, or our religion or whatever else it is.
The first thing I want to do is help you step back, take a look at who you are on the inside, and then work from there.
Discover Your Purpose
Finding your purpose doesn’t necessarily have to be the second step in the process, but it’s where I go. The whole process is values, purpose, goals, and then skills. Once you know your values, you can define your purpose. Once you find your purpose, you can develop goals and once you develop your goals, you can decide on what skills you need to reach your goals and fulfill your purpose.
Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “Many people die with their music still in them. Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time Runs Out.”
That’s what I want to help you avoid. I don’t want people to die with their song still in them. What I want is for us all to reach the end of our lives and look back and say, “I did that, and I did it the way I wanted to,” or the way I was called to. I have a strong belief that every one of us has a deeper purpose in our lives. Most of us just need to uncover that purpose.
For years I tried to figure out what I was supposed to do. I had 33 jobs. You’re going to hear me say that a lot because it’s true. I want you to understand that it’s okay to fail. Just because one job is not right for you doesn’t mean another one isn’t. And… Just because one company with a poor leader wasn’t right for you doesn’t mean there’s not a better fit for you somewhere else.
My other obstacle was that I also had to recover from addiction. A lot of us have addiction in our stories, but we don’t want to talk about it. You know what you’re going through today may be to help somebody else down the road. I know a lot of us don’t want to think about that but it’s true. Our purposes get revealed over time. Sometimes that means trying a lot of different things until we get to the point of being comfortable with ourselves and really living Who We Are.
Determine Your Goals
For Some of us goals are just something we do and then forget about. That’s what it was for me.For a long time I just stopped setting goals until I got a coach. A lot of the time we don’t want to set goals because we are afraid to fail. . It’s okay to fail. It’s okay to change your goals. I’m giving you permission to set goals and to fail at them. How about that?
If you know your purpose and that’s what you want to do, there has to be some underlying things in there that help you get to that purpose. That’s what goals are. a goal can be I want to spend more time with my significant other. So we figure out what underlying thing is going to help you spend that time? And then you do that?
Goals don’t have to be, “I want to make a million dollars” which is what we hear so many people tell us today and that’s not it. Most of the people I work with are people who are downsizing their jobs and their homes in order to live a more simple lifestyle. Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to have financial goals. Remember, every goal has a price and you have to decide what the price is, and if you are willing to pay it. Like my coach asks me, What do you want to say yes to?
Without setting goals, we’re not going to know what the target is. They’re just road maps and sometimes we get off the road map and sometimes when you take a long trip like my family does, you decide to change the road map. We have to have a starting point and we need to have an ending point that we think is the ending point right now.
Develop Your Skills
This Is the hardest part of all, that’s not true. The hardest part is deciding on your values. This is the second hardest part because it takes a lot of physical effort. It takes physical effort because we’ve done things our whole life that we may need to unlearn. It’s like learning to eat with your opposite hand. If your right-handed trying to eat with your left hand feels weird and different, you can’t do it. Developing a skill is like that. We need someone to guide us along the path as we develop the necessary skills to fulfill our purpose.
If you want to be a good coach, whether it’s a life coach or a sports coach, you need to get training in that type of coaching. You need to get training to be a great public speaker. If you want to paint,sing, or play an instrument, whatever it is you need a coach to help you develop that skill. Most of the things we do in life don’t come naturally.
I don’t want to downplay natural talent, but natural talent can only take you so far. I love the quote by
Robert Kiyosaki, “Professionals have coaches, amateurs do not.” If we want to develop our skills then most of us are going to need a professional to guide us along the road.
Most people have some natural talents. But standing up in front of a group of people and singing the national anthem or giving a talk requires training. Trust me, I come from a family of people who can stand up and sing the national anthem. It requires training. You’ve heard terrible singers who think they’re good singers. They believe they’re good because they refuse to be around people who could tell them they’re not good singers. Sometimes, as we’re learning the skills we need to develop to fulfill our purpose in our goals, we need to hear hard things. That’s where coaching comes in. A coach, a mentor, or someone who can come alongside you and give you the information you don’t want to hear so you can get better.
So That’s it for My Coaching Model.
Determine your values. Discover your purpose. Define your goals. Develop your skills. I honestly believe that if we go through these four areas, you will be able to determine what success looks like to you and live a life that you design on your own.
Are there other things we didn’t get into, like life domains, fear, spirituality, and any plethora of other things we can and will go into on his podcast. Coaching is about starting today and moving forward from this point on. It’s about personal growth and that’s why I love the coaching model so much. It starts at where we are and takes us to where we want to be.
Thanks for listening, if you like what you hear and want to stay up to date with all the happenings at Recapture Your Life coaching, you can sign-up on the website https://RecaptureYour.Life
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